Humor

Showing roses is fun.

Judge Not Me

Judge Not Me

By Robert B. Martin Jr.


Judge not me for comely grace, 

For my pleasing form or face;

Nor for any ideal hue

No, nor for a substance true:

For these may blow or turn to…

Sunday Queen

The Sunday Queen

By Robert B. Martin Jr.


Monday's Rose is seldom shown;
Tuesday's Rose is fully blown.
Wednesday's Rose might have a chance;
Thursday's Rose will make you dance.

The Groomer

The Groomer

By Robert B. Martin Jr.

(To the tune of "The Gambler". 
Words and Music by Don Schlitz; 
recorded by Kenny Rogers.)*

On a cool spring time mornin’
In a hall out in…

Reboundin'

Reboundin’

By Robert B Martin Jr.

(Dedicated to Eric Yount)

Narrator:
Here's a story on how strange is life with its changes and it happened not long ago.
On a Florida plain where…

A Letter From Virginia

Dear Editor:

I am 8 years old.

Some of my little friends say there is no purpose to a rose show,

Papa says "If you see it in Rose Exhibitors' Forum it's so."

Please tell me the truth;…

The Exhibitor's Lament

The Exhibitor's Lament

By Robert B. Martin Jr.

It would have been Queen
If they hadn't seen
That hole in the petal
The foliage unclean

The center weren't sharp
You know how they carp

A Visit from the Chair

A Visit From The Judges' Chair

By Robert B. Martin, Jr.

'Twas the night 'for the rose show, 
when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, 
not even a mouse;
The roses…

Soliloquy

A Rosarian Soliloquy

By Robert B. Martin Jr.

To spray, or not to spray - that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in roses to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous insects
Or…

The Modern Day Rosarian

The Modern Day Rosarian

(For the Savoyards - the Fans of Gilbert & Sullivan)
By Robert B. Martin Jr.

(To the tune of “A Modern Major General”)

ROSE: I am the very model of a modern…

Why Did My Rose Bush Die?

Why Did My Rose Bush Die?

By Robert B. Martin, Jr.

You failed to water. You pruned too hard.
You ran it over with a car.
The nursery mailed it without roots.  
You killed it with…

Greenfly and Thrips

Greenfly and Thrips

By Robert B. Martin Jr

Read my lips.

Greenfly and thrips
Greenfly and thrips
I do not like them
Read my lips.

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like…

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